The Misadventures of Abi in Ouran
by Miss.Wendalyn
Summary: Always wanting to live the lifestyle of a manga heroine, Abi sets her sights on the prestigious Ouran Academy. However it's not all that it's cracked up to be. She's somehow become in league with a bunch of reaaally camp guys calling themselves a host club and her mental best friends followed her and will most likely kill someone.


**A/N**  
_How goes it broseth? A little background Information about this little fan fiction here._  
_About a year or so ago my best friends and I stumbled across ouran and loved it so much we wrote a really crappy fanfic entitled 'Abi goes to ouran high school and freaks out' or " AGTOHSAFO' as it was referred to._  
_Eventually we forgot about our derpy exploits with the host club until the other day I stumbled across one of the chapters. I read it all and realised how crappy it was and I vowed to rewrite AGTOHSAFP except it would be better and have a different title._

_-blah blah page break blah-_

**The Prologue**  
**A.K.A the awkward chapter that doesn't really hold any relevance to the plot.**

-  
"I just couldn't help it." Molly shook her head sadly, " They told me not to but I plunged the knife into the flesh and stabbed furiously."

"it's was a tragedy" Jess agreed, "The waiter was crying for at least five minutes..."

"in retrospect rather than making a fuss, I should have sent it back but alas I ripped the steak to shreds and shoved it down the wanker's shirt." Molly finished with what sounded like a growl. It seemed last weekend's steak fiasco still made her angry.

"We got kicked out but we didn't pay for the meal so we bought ice cream instead" Jess and Molly high fived and stared at Abi their eyes wide.

Abi sat at her desk face smushed against a large textbook filled with Japanese characters. She was obviously not interested in 'Adventure Time with Jessy-cat and Molly-kins'.  
Abi had zoned out of the conversation about twenty minutes prior, her bones were weary and her mental state was no better. She had been studying for that damn entrance exam for days! All she drank was coffee. She hated coffee, it tasted like crap but the second she started drinking she couldn't stop and the caffeine had became part of her very being. However what comes up must come down and the her buzz crashed hard like a f1 race car into a wall.  
Abi's head was pounding like a drum and her ears were ringing. This was obviously bad.

Jess poked Abi's head and got a groan in reply.  
Molly threw a plushie at her head and there was another groan.  
"I think Abi is dead..." Molly whispered clinging on the Jess' arm "It was an overdose of learning."

Jess bit her lip in thought before leaning close to Abi's ear, if this didn't get a massive reaction they should call an ambulance. "Abigail there is a unicorn galloping down your road"  
No reaction.  
"it's purple with a silver mane and hooves"  
Silence.  
Molly joined Jess above Abi's ear. "there are shotas running after it"  
Nothing  
"they're in swimsuits"

Abi just lay still, she swore her internal organs were shutting down. All she heard was static and the 'Learn Japanese History' cd ,she'd been listening to earlier that day, looping in her mind.

Jess and Molly stared at Abi for a few seconds and both poke her in unison. It was at that moment that her body lost all rigidity, turned into jelly and flopped to the floor.  
She felt no pain, a numbness was spreading around he body.

" Well it's been fun hahaha" said Molly looking extremely scared " it seems I have to go uh..."

"feed orphan porpoises!" Jess exclaimed.

"Yes," Molly nodded, " Those poor porpoises need maternal figures and I have perfected my dolphin squees and whale song."

"And Larry, my adopted narwhal son, wanted to play Blackjack so I can't disappoint the poor dear or he'll cause a commotion in the ocean again." Jess said edging towards the door " last time he beat up a walrus."

Molly followed suit " So we don't want a lot of emo dolphins do we? Good luck in the exam!"

The dynamic duo made a break for it down the stairs, they really didn't need another 'talk' from the police about murder.

Flailing on the floor was what Abi did for the next few minutes, struggling to regain control of her limbs. Ouran better be worth it, or she swore to god that she'd do something dramatic like go cray cray like crayola and rob a nursery of all it's Lego and tricycles.

**A/N**  
_Please read and review :3_  
_It'll pick up and get better. I promise you guys._


End file.
